Gym Clobbered

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I've a confession to make. I'd say I fair pretty well in normal daily attire - I've worked in the fashion trade for years and I know my onions so to speak. I'm not a victim of labels but I know when you need to wear your denim dark and raw (unwashed) or when to drop the big shirt collars and leave them to the city folk. But when it comes to getting sweaty in the name of sport I've always struggled to pick cool togs. Maybe this is down to my problem with buying product which is made by small hands...

Listen, I'm not laying claim to being a fashion guru or some sort of sportswear stylist but clearly there are clothes that are fit for purpose and those garments that look plain daft when worn to exercise in. If you wanted to get buff you wouldn't use cans of beans to do bicep curls would you? No, you'd buy a set of dumbbells and train properly. The right tools for the job. Well I think that when it comes to clothes the same principle applies!

Here are my rules to get Gym Clobbered:

Sneaks

'Yeah I've got on sneaks but I need a new pair 'cause basketball courts in the Summer got girls there'

Wise words from Mr William Smith and ones from which I think we should all take heed. Though I'd rather you wore a pair of naff trainers from a wacky brand with a made-up 'sports heritage' than come to the gym in a pair of old office shoes that have clearly seen better days. But my friends this is the kind of lameness that I see in establishments of health on an all to regular basis.

The old spit'n'polish technique to achieve PBs.

Shirts
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If it's got a collar on it best be a polo shirt when you walk through the sacred doors of your local muscle church. I was lifting heavy stuff for The Weightlifting Challenge last week and a father and son were training together, a warm family moment so you might think, but the papa had on an ironed stripey shirt of the office variety - meaning he'd actually made a conscious decision to wear the dam thing tschh!

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Not only has he got a shirt on but he's training before the gym's even been built

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Jeans
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The most common form of casual leg coverings may have started out their existence as work wear, trusted for their durability and ease to manufacture, but they're now far more suited to being worn on any occasion where you can get away without a suit these days. So my friends, why do some of us see fit to wear them to sweat in whilst pumping iron?!

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These 2 geeks are the epitome of not bothering to get changed for the gym, unless they actually bought their jeans for the gym...twats!
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Hats

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I know English Northerners get a bad rap from us in the affluent South for their whippet walking, flat cap wearing ways but I kid you not that whilst in my local gym for The Weightlifting Challenge I saw a young Northern lad training on machines whilst wearing such a hat.

Nice hat...for an elderly gardener

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High Heels
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Girls Girls Girls I love 'em just as much as the next straight man without a hang up on fancying fellas but hey some of 'em stupidly feel the need to dress up for their thrice weekly pilgrimage to fitnessville and i can't help being narked by this. Heels are for going out, honestly wearing them whilst doing those light curls that you pretend actually do anything, or jogging on the treadmill just serves to make us men think you'll figure giving us a blow job is drying my hair after the shower...


Likewise chickies, turning up with your lady lumps on full show can cause injury - for the men checking you out!

This beach lounger's a tad uncomfortable

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As Pete Puma would say - Keep on pumpin' dudes