Wednesday, 25 August 2010

We have a Winner!!

As you'll recall the first post on The Everyman Olympics outlined why I'm doing these challenges, whilst my second post -  The Very Exciting Subplot - focused on my competition with Carl and the race to lose a stone - this is an update on that sub-challenge, and yes ladies and gents, we have a winner!

For the last 6 months I've been focusing my spare time researching, setting up and competing in Olympic-events-based sporting challenges and by all means yes I mean to carry on, at least until I've completed an entire years worth.

So far in my quest I've been on the pull for The Rowing Challenge, suffered defeat to a girl in The Badminton Challenge, chased a gay-looking surfer-type dude around my home village for The Running Challenge, lifted heavy stuff in a bizarre manner for The Weightlifting Challenge, been beaten by a mountain in *The Cycling Challenge and lived like a millionaire for a morning in *The Tennis Challenge.

* These last two are yet to be posted - stay tuned, they're on their way.

My early results weight-loss-wise were pretty piss poor as I struggled to adapt from my beer guzzling, take-away-munching ways yet as I settled into dragging my sorry arse around parks, fields and up and down the coastline in what was essentially a jogathon during April I did start to shed the pounds enough to notice.

OK so may I was pulling the tape a little too tight

Meanwhile Carl had taken to adapting a more traditional approach and whilst I'm sure the blog he hasn't written, about how he gave up carbs and reduced his hitherto insatiable appetite for alcohol will I'm sure have been well worth a read (though we'll never truly know), to be fair he'd been steadfast in his new morals and was motoring along on the road to Slimsville.

Seeriouslee Frodo Oi'm gonna give up the booze right afta this pint

Ladies & Gentlemen, we have a winner!

I feel it's my duty to inform you that standing shakily on top of the one foot high podium is aforementioned (in The Very Exciting Subplot) hobbit-featured, sauerkraut-munching, sportswear/fashionwear designer...Carl

With annoyance in my eyes, body language and eyes I salute you, you little shit, for your triumph (so not bitter at all then).

Well done for emerging as the victor in the battle of Belly Shedington, may your unborn children share in your slim-ass family frame and may all who view you remark 'now there's a skinny hobbit'.

The prize of 1 free slap up dinner of your choice at my expense is yours to claim whenst we next meet and I'll have no gripes in shaking your hand and cheering 'for he's a jolly good inhabitant of hobbitan' over and over until the restauranteurs call in a wizard of a doorman to smash my lights out.


My downfall? With gusto and vigour I'd fought hard to prove my exercising methods right, and I felt sure they'd prove the quick fix I needed to be crowned champion but I just could not refuse the thrill of being handed The Weightlifting Challenge; the joy of meeting and subsequently being trained by a real life title winning athlete, the happiness in gaining a link to said British medal winner through a body builder in the states - through a medium I'd just started tweeting on, and the opportunity to rekindle an old interest in pumping iron.

I'd channelled my enthusiasm to the point where I didn't want to let Coach Josie, Pete Puma, you the reader or indeed myself down, and so I didn't hesitate in drinking the chalky whey protein shakes which my trainer had recommended to aid recovery, even when I'd read that they would essentially help my body retain greater muscle gain from each session, and by which means directly aid my increasing in weight during a period when I was supposed to be losing it.

In one month I actually put on more weight than I'd lost in the previous 3 and it was then that I received this image from the man who I'm sure has very hairy feet:

He even shaved his feet for the occasion

It was a harsh blow to suffer and I knew instantly that I'd lost the sub-challenge in The Very Exciting Subplot, possibly due to my own insistence on taking up The Weightlifting Challenge but as another pal of mine says - life's a journey, not a race.

As mentioned before, YOU can get involved in The Everyman Olympics.
Here’s what I’m looking for:
  • Suggestions or tips you have on which sports I should base an event on
  • How I can make the challenges realistic to the real thing and where I might find facilities to use
  • Stores where I can get good deals on sports equipment and kit
  • OR even if you’re available to play against me or in some of the team events!
Anyone who helps will be mentioned on the blog (Who knows, it may even make a book)

You can contact me at

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  1. Although I did royally kick your ass all over the park in loosing the excess baggage I still have a Louis Vuitton trunk of a stomach to get rid of, and as I am a Dwarf it sticks out more.
    And now that I have collected my winnings when back on home soil just the other month (which I will add was bloody amazing by the way), I feel there's another challenge to be taken!
    Right so we have figured out that by basing the competition on body weight was probably not the best idea. So the next challenge should be measured on actual fat loss rather than weight.
    The deal is I bought a very nice J.Lindeberg shirt which is slightly too small for me......or on the other hand that I'm slightly too big for! I've been looking forward to slimming down my chunky butt enough to actually get into it, so how about it big man? You fancy another challenge?
    My true goal is to get from a 34" waist down to a 30/32" but all in good time, I'll post a picture of me in the shirt so far and give you an idea of what we're talking about.
    It's not like I need another excuse to kick your butt but it is fun and bloody entertaining, so is the game a foot dear Watson?

    Carl "The Hobbit" Tuffley

    P.s. The description of me on this blog is so funny I almost pissed myself.

  2. I really do hope that's a finger on the bottom of that shot of the scales

  3. Haha, just so that everyone knows I was wearing boxers when taking that shot and that is my finger.