For the last 6 months I've been focusing my spare time researching, setting up and competing in Olympic-events-based sporting challenges and by all means yes I mean to carry on, at least until I've completed an entire years worth.
So far in my quest I've been on the pull for The Rowing Challenge, suffered defeat to a girl in The Badminton Challenge, chased a gay-looking surfer-type dude around my home village for The Running Challenge, lifted heavy stuff in a bizarre manner for The Weightlifting Challenge, been beaten by a mountain in *The Cycling Challenge and lived like a millionaire for a morning in *The Tennis Challenge.
* These last two are yet to be posted - stay tuned, they're on their way.
My early results weight-loss-wise were pretty piss poor as I struggled to adapt from my beer guzzling, take-away-munching ways yet as I settled into dragging my sorry arse around parks, fields and up and down the coastline in what was essentially a jogathon during April I did start to shed the pounds enough to notice.
OK so may I was pulling the tape a little too tight
Meanwhile Carl had taken to adapting a more traditional approach and whilst I'm sure the blog he hasn't written, about how he gave up carbs and reduced his hitherto insatiable appetite for alcohol will I'm sure have been well worth a read (though we'll never truly know), to be fair he'd been steadfast in his new morals and was motoring along on the road to Slimsville.
Seeriouslee Frodo Oi'm gonna give up the booze right afta this pint
Ladies & Gentlemen, we have a winner!
I feel it's my duty to inform you that standing shakily on top of the one foot high podium is aforementioned (in The Very Exciting Subplot) hobbit-featured, sauerkraut-munching, sportswear/fashionwear designer...Carl
With annoyance in my eyes, body language and eyes I salute you, you little shit, for your triumph (so not bitter at all then).
Well done for emerging as the victor in the battle of Belly Shedington, may your unborn children share in your slim-ass family frame and may all who view you remark 'now there's a skinny hobbit'.
The prize of 1 free slap up dinner of your choice at my expense is yours to claim whenst we next meet and I'll have no gripes in shaking your hand and cheering 'for he's a jolly good inhabitant of hobbitan' over and over until the restauranteurs call in a wizard of a doorman to smash my lights out.
My downfall? With gusto and vigour I'd fought hard to prove my exercising methods right, and I felt sure they'd prove the quick fix I needed to be crowned champion but I just could not refuse the thrill of being handed The Weightlifting Challenge; the joy of meeting and subsequently being trained by a real life title winning athlete, the happiness in gaining a link to said British medal winner through a body builder in the states - through a medium I'd just started tweeting on, and the opportunity to rekindle an old interest in pumping iron.
I'd channelled my enthusiasm to the point where I didn't want to let Coach Josie, Pete Puma, you the reader or indeed myself down, and so I didn't hesitate in drinking the chalky whey protein shakes which my trainer had recommended to aid recovery, even when I'd read that they would essentially help my body retain greater muscle gain from each session, and by which means directly aid my increasing in weight during a period when I was supposed to be losing it.
In one month I actually put on more weight than I'd lost in the previous 3 and it was then that I received this image from the man who I'm sure has very hairy feet:
He even shaved his feet for the occasion
It was a harsh blow to suffer and I knew instantly that I'd lost the sub-challenge in The Very Exciting Subplot, possibly due to my own insistence on taking up The Weightlifting Challenge but as another pal of mine says - life's a journey, not a race.
As mentioned before, YOU can get involved in The Everyman Olympics.
Here’s what I’m looking for:
- Suggestions or tips you have on which sports I should base an event on
- How I can make the challenges realistic to the real thing and where I might find facilities to use
- Stores where I can get good deals on sports equipment and kit
- OR even if you’re available to play against me or in some of the team events!
You can contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Or follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/EveryOlympian