Exercise for LIFE

Since beginning The Everyman Olympics I've noticed a few things about exercising - it turns out it's mostly good for you, and here's why:

L is for Love. It's also for Libido

Ever wonder why the the other chaps in the gym all have hungry eyes? Exercising regularly raises your A Game in the sack and also makes you as horny as a pube-sprouting teenager.

Lance Armstrong's Live Strong campaign site have researched the researchers and relayed the scientific facts behind this claim, here's a link:

http://www.livestrong.com/article/12125-boost-sex-drive-with-exercise/

The race is on for another boner

I is for Intelligence
Not only will doing exercise improve your basic maths (3 sets of 15 reps = 45 reps in total) but it'll also increase your brain power in other ways too...

The bods at the University of Illinois did some tinkering with the lives of 100 couch potatoes and found that these thick twats were capable of more than just using the remote control when pushed to simply go for the odd walk:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/7967836/Gentle-stroll-can-help-boost-intelligence.html

Though I'm not sure I buy into the rumour that Professor Stephen Hawking's physical state is down to him unsuccessfully attempting a 200kg Clean & Jerk without spotters!

Arnie had nothing on me

F is for Fashion

Get to work on ditching the wobbly bits and you'll find you don't need to appear as if dressed like a sack of spuds.

Once the loose lumps turn to firm bumps you'll be wanting to buy some new trendy togs to go with the new slimline you.

All that money you save on not eating fatty nonsense will come in handy.

Not exactly Harvey Nichols

E is indeed for Ecstasy (though not the kind the Shamen harped on about in the 90's)

E is also for Endorphins...Energy....and Ego

All of these E's are boosted when you Exercise!

Why diets work better in Winter...ish

OK so on first glance this argument may appear irrational and misguided, surely the Summer months are better for shedding the pounds right? Wrong! Here's why diets work better in Winter...ish

Social Gatherings

Social Gatherings add pounds - bring people together in groups and they'll inevitably involve food and most likely alcohol to the occasion. Both of which are packed with calories and both of which you're likely to over-indulge in.

Seasons may be the result of the yearly revolution of the Earth around the Sun and the tilt of the Earth's axis relative to the plane of revolution but as simple folk we like to put a date on them and hence regardless of which Premiership Church Team you follow, for the foreseeable future there is only one 'must attend' big bash in *Winter, and that starts right at the beginning - so you've almost the whole season to redeem yourself on the dietary front!

*Refers to Northern Hemisphere

Don't worry fella, there's time to shed those Christmas pounds!

Going Places

Jack Frost will inevitably show his ugly face some time in Winter, and usually he brings along his pals Snowy Dave & Cold-As-Ice Carroll: together they set about covering everything in monotone glory before mixing it all together to form a nasty brown mush before Spring turns up for The Big Clean.

The arrival of Jack and his mates signifies a period where your chances of travel dive like your libido in a cold snap.

Going Places always involves extra snacking and not in a healthy way; show me a service station that has a juice bar rather than a fast food chain outlet?! Hence not Going Places reduces the likelihood that you'll snack.

Getting Stuff

Linked heavily with Going Places - when the snow and ice take over your travel plans, you first cancel going to work, then you cancel going to unnecessary Social Gatherings, then you cancel going to the shops in favour of finding out what's at the back of the kitchen cupboard (always the healthier 'less exciting' food stuffs), then when you've finished eating the tins of tuna with remarkably long shelf lives, you venture out to the corner store only to find that their deliveries haven't arrived, or they couldn't be bothered open the store that day.

Getting stuff becomes a chore, especially when you have to spend half an hour layering up with hats and coats and scarves and wellies before you even leave the comfort of your nice warm home....mmm it's nice and warm here...do I really need to go to the shop?...I wonder what's at the back of the kitchen cupboard!

Winter Warmers

With the weather here in the UK looking to show early intent that we're in for a harsh and drawn-out Winter I'm looking to move my focus to indoor sports, so what sporting options do I have available for The Everyman Olympics?

Swimming I've just bagged (report to follow soonish...I know I owe you a few) so what else do I have left to tackle in The Great Indoors?

Fencing - a sport I've been keen to start for a while; its got swords and cool outfits, plus the added benefit of decent war wounds - what more could a lad ask for? Having just noticed I'm being followed by @britishfencing on Twitter I've sent them a message, fingers crossed they'll come back with a way for me to get started!

Wrestling - I've a tenuous link to this one: a pal of mine works with someone connected to the GB team for Greco Roman Wrestling - if you read this Chris, lets talk more on this when I visit Friday.

Basketball - 'Pat Ball' as my ol' Grandad used to say (bless him). Apparently a girl very close to me knows someone who may know someone who can help, but you know how those kind of contacts tend to go...

Football - OK so really this is an outdoor sport but I'm up for a game of indoor footie soon if YOU are? (Hoping to bag this one in December)

Water Polo  - @GB_WaterPolo have got back to me on Twitter and I may be able to hook up with the actual GB teams in late January (thanks to both Ollie from the BBC, @BBCSport_Ollie.and Una - @aqua2swim - for the contact via Twitter)

Diving & Synchronized Swimming - here's hoping Una and Lauren can help me here too x*

*Over-friendly kiss - hoping it helps!

Handball - I've no links whatsoever for this one...HELP!!!!

Boxing - Rocky famously trained outside on some occasions but the beatings usually take place in a warm and 'cosy' ring (Pete Puma - insert gag 'here')

Track Cycling - I'm in need of getting to Manchester Velodrome, or waiting till the actual Olympics one is finished in nearby London - then hoping the very helpful Karim of @catchsport can convince Lord Coe to let me use it (I see the great man follows you on Twitter)

Taekwondo - If you're out there and can help with this one, please get in touch!

Gymnastics - Artistic, Rhythmic or Trampolining - I'm even up for these if you can point me in the right direction y'all?

Volleyball - Isn't this just Netball for boys? (Just kidding ; )

So if you can help me with these Winter Warmers please GET IN TOUCH... email me at theeverymanolympian@googlemail.com or send me a tweet on Twitter

I look forward to hearing from you soon x*

The Big Debate: Trunks or Swim Shorts?

Yes it's been a while and Yes I am still marching on with the challenges for The Everyman Olympics and Yes I do owe you the write-up on The Decathlon Challenge and The Table Tennis Challenge but while work has managed to soak up almost every spare minute of my time lately, this past week I've been able to start The Swimming Challenge, thus sparking The Big Debate: Trunks or Swim Shorts?

Lets be honest, when it comes to pool or seaside fashion us Brits are not exactly known for our taste in garments; knotted handkerchiefs on heads and white socks in sandals to name but 2 of our faux pars.

Our swashbuckling European neighbours are far more at home with flaunting their tanned limbs though is it true to say that ALL of those on the Euro mainland vacuum pack their giblets into shiny nacker sacks?

As a dapper English chap in possession of many national traits, including reservedness, I'm not one to strip to the waist the minute the sun comes out and neither will you see me reach for the Speedos when its time to take a dip in the pool, but my own bloodline is a cocktail made up of Italian, French & English so surely my personal choice in aqua-wear is exactly that: a personal choice.

So what say YOU? Trunks or Swim Shorts? Debate.

The Everyman Olympics: Re-Galvanised

How 12 Events became EVERY Sport in the Olympics...

As the buzz of The Canoeing Challenge settled I started to envision putting together an event around my next task, so as to get more people involved all together in one glorious day...though this wasn't the only thing taking up my spare time: word of my tasks had started to get me noticed and this attention lead me to re-think the core idea at the very heart of my challenges - this is the story of how The Everyman Olympics became Re-Galvanised.

As you may know, this is how I first layed down the rules to myself:

• One challenge to be set every month for a year, based on a different Olympic sport

Because I work in a job where I travel around 35,000 miles per year by car, and have various trips abroad and would be organising the whole thing myself I thought that this would in itself be plenty to keep me busy.

You might also recall that my reasons for doing this series of tasks were purely targetted at weightloss - more specifically I wanted to lose a stone of the fat stuff.

Oh and there was the slight matter of beating my pal Carl in the race to lose this stone....some of us will already know how that story ended.

Back to the point in hand...

A few days after hooking up with Graham, who I'd met on The Cycling Challenge I received a phone call from Mike Miners, a journalist for the local paper - The Evening Echo.

Mike had heard of my sporting challenges through a mutual friend of his and Grahams and wanted to write a report on me.

I was already in training for my next event at the time and so after a telephone interview we agreed to meet at Southend Leisure & Tennis Centre for some photos to be taken of me in action.



The Everyman Olympian (Me)


A few days later I was staring at myself on Page 5, here's a link to Mike's great article:

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/8382831.Olympic_Games__I___m_in_training_for_every_event/

Literally the day after this came out I was contacted on Twitter by the very delightful Shana Pearlman, a producer for BBC Essex Radio no less!

Shana invited me onto the Dave Monk Show to be interviewed live on air - naturally I lept at the chance (being an 'Olympian' and all).

(Unfortunately for some stupid reason Blogger won't allow me to upload the recording I have of this interview - if anyone out there has any tips on how to get this on, please let me know)

Before I did this chat on the radio I looked back at the interview for The Evening Echo and realised that Mike Miner's had printed a quote from me which I hadn't really taken in:

“Originally it was a 12 month project, but now I hope to try every sport before the 2012 games in London.”

EVERY SPORT??!!!....I. Must. Be. Bonkers!

Realising that I'd clearly got excited in the moment, I took the bull by the horns, marched into BBC Essex Radio HQ and ran with it.

So there you have it, the London Olympics in 2012 will feature 26 Sports (though some are broken down into more events) - I've now completed 8 of them and have 20 months left to do the rest.

Here's a list of the sports I've yet to tackle:

Archery
Basketball
Beach Volleyball / Volleyball
Boxing
Diving / Swimming / Synchronised Swimming / Water Polo.
Equestrian - Dressage / Eventing / Jumping
Fencing
Football
Gymnastics - Artistic / Rhythmic / Trampoline
Handball
Hockey
Judo
Modern Pentathlon
Sailing
Shooting
Taekwondo
Triathlon
Wrestling.

If I'm going to achieve this I Need Your Help - leave your details in the comment box below or email me at theeverymanolympian@googlemail.com to find out how YOU can help me and get involved in The Everyman Olympics.

Thanks in advance,

The Everyman Olympian

Hello Culture!

In the distant memory of the time before I started the adventure of The Everyman Olympics I recall a period where I would go walking in an effort to start the momentum I knew was needed in order for me to begin shedding the pounds, nothing unusual in this you might say but I do recall being mythed at the amount of times complete strangers said 'hello' to me just because they were out walking too - this is the story of how I came to recognise outdoor exercising's Hello Culture!

I first encountered the existence of this polite exercising etiquette whilst walking along the coastline of South East England - random folk out with their dogs or out walking for fitness would voice this greeting to me as I passed in the opposite direction.

To start with I was so flummoxed that before I'd managed to utter a mirrored response they'd already passed by and now I looked like a mumbling fool who uttered polite abuse at strangers backs.

Call me cynical (though please refrain from doing so while I'm out walking - that'd just freak me out) but as a shy and retiring Brit who used to work in retail I think people who say hello to folk they don't know are after something for their own gain.

4th Grade Jack explains it better than me - but then I'm a cynic and believe this clip to be the marketing tool of a corporate machine rather than a smoothly edited home video posted on YouTube by a well meaning seven year old:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcz9V-4QI2M

Before I could control myself I'd joined the 'hello movement' and was busy saying hello! to virtually everyone I could when I was out on one of these fast walks - I'd greet all and sundry, be they fellow fleet-footed fitness fanatics, people on their way to work or the paper shop, or even happy drunks on their way to bed after a cracking night out.

I was like a polite man possessed! And to this end I didn't really pick up on why some folk would respond and others would simply blank this twatful greeter.

It was only when I started The Running Challenge that I noticed the differences between the respondies and the non-responsive and only when I used my wheels for The Cycling Challenge that I realised the hierachy to the Hello Culture!

Here's how the Hello Culture! works:

1. People just out walking as a means of getting from A to B DO NOT say hello! to Walkers
2. Dog Walkers often DO say hello! to Walkers, though it's not a given
3. Walkers DO say hello! to other Walkers, unless they're rude or new or too shattered to say hello
4. Joggers DO NOT say hello! to Walkers unless they look like they're actually Joggers who are just taking a break
5. Joggers DO say helllo! to other Joggers (see No.3 for reason's that some don't)
6. Cyclists DO say hello! to other Cyclists but only respond if they are in the same category of Cyclists (rules of Cyclists to follow)
7. Cyclists DO NOT say hello! to Joggers or Walkers
8. Cyclists DO NOT say hello! to other bike users who are simply cycling as a means of getting from A to B
9. Cyclists seeking fitness but not part of a club DO say hello! to other Cyclists of the same nature
10. Cyclists seeking fitness but not part of a club DO sometimes say hello! to Club Cyclists but DO NOT often get a response
11. Club Cyclists DO say hello! to other Club Cyclists, it would be impolite not to wouldn't it?

I've not worked out the Hello Culture! rules yet for Horse Riders, Sailors *insert 'hello sailor' gag here*, or Mountain Bikers...but I'm working on it.

Next time you see me out exercising DO say hello! but only if we are both Walking, or Jogging, or Cycling and we're of the same standard - otherwise I'll blank you, you mumbling fool.

Numbers Game

The Mathematics of Exercise

You may put your physical prowess down to hard work, you may put your sporting success down to natural ability, but really...its a Numbers Game.

The Power of One

It just takes One motion to get you started...

One step One lift One push One pull One throw One press One leap One stretch One...Nike's marketing team weren't paid gaziliions for the slogan 'Just Do It' for nothing - the sooner you stop lingering on Zero and upgrade to One, the sooner you'll achieve your goals.

As I've mentioned before...personally, training in a gym towards no specific end target is dull and boring - but it's here that the mathematics of exercise are at their purist!

Divide and Conquer

Struggling to get through that hour of pain you've set yourself? Simply divide up your workout into manageable chunks and you'll nail it in no time - work out when you're 10% through, when you've hit half way and then reduce the percentages from 50 down to 5 and you'll fly through it (distract yourself with the maths).

Go Forth and Multiply

When you've done One, do another One, then another One, repeat and repeat until the old tubby you has turned into the new fit-as-a-fiddle you.

It's obvious really but just to make it sink in, here's a simple equation to follow:

(Reps x Sets) x Frequency Per Week = Success

You do the maths.

The Canoeing Challenge: Blazing Paddles

The Canoeing Challenge for The Everyman Olympics fell onto my lap easier than my missus manages to knock things over - believe me she is double clumsy (bless her); a group of pals from Leicester were off on their annual canoeing trip to the English/Welsh boarder and invited me along.

After a briefing Wyedean Canoe & Adventure Centre which frankly we all should have listened to more, the 12 of us paired up, loaded our gear into 6 Canadian open canoes and then launched off into the River Wye.

The River Wye

There are 2 different canoeing events at the Olympics - Slalom & Sprint, the Slalom is a timed run down a white water course with up to 25 gates to negotiate, the Sprint is...erm...a sprint and can be done over 200 metres, 500m or 1000m - simples.

The Canoeing Challenge:

Slalom

• Distance: 39 miles, including White Water Rapids
• Time: 3 Days

Sprint

• Distances: 500m & 1000m(ish)
• Time: As quickly as possible, obviously!

It soon became apparent that most of us had missed the part of the briefing where we got taught how to steer...

The boys were being boys and in that very first leg we each established that none of us wanted to be last, though this was counterbalanced by the girls being girls and not being arsed about the pecking order so long as they could chat with each other along the way.

Toilets breaks had to be approached with all the tactics and skill of a military campaign: every time the shout went out that someone needed a call of nature the lead canoe became the scouts for a place to stop, what followed was essentially the sight of 6 canoes crashing into any riverbank we could all get to, then a scramble of people each trying to help the most needy to secure their vessel from moving off down the river while others urinated in bushes or against trees - a real sight to behold.

One bathroom break was less successful than most: we'd unwisely opted to stop at a muddy bank - having wedged our 'boats' into the mud as best we could, there was a 4 foot high step onto the brown squelchy stuff, followed by a brief climb up yet more mud to get onto the bank.

On the way back down to the canoes Sophie slipped into the river and was dragged off by the current, the rest of us rallied to get her safely into a canoe but this came at a cost - 'I've lost my shoe'.

For food we would moor up at the regularly positioned pubs along the riverbank and occasionally we'd treat ourselves to a beer - just the odd one as I'm sure you can imagine (I didn't accumulate the belly I had before The Everyman Olympics without knowing my way around a pint glass).

Of an evening we would pitch tents at prebooked locations under the watchful eye of our leader,Will - an ex-marine; in our collective minds eye he could deal with any situation we encountered: if a pack of lost wolves attacked as we slept - Will would organise us in a ring of fire and we'd fend them off...if hippies in neighbouring tents persisted in playing Janis Joplin right through the night - Will could cut off their power supply...if we discovered the campsite toilets had no loo role all-too-late - Will would wipe our...

Janis Joplin - Will could take her.

On the morning of Day 3 we'd already travelled 30 miles and had bonded as a tightly knit, expert rowing unit, yet now we were to be briefed on a new and dangerous turn in our journey - the White Water Rapids...

The briefing lasted 20 minutes.

The White Water Rapids lasted 3...minutes.

I. Kid. You. Not.

Disappointed and barely endangered enough for any amount of adrenalin to kick in we ALL felt cheated.

Tones and Kate had shot off when the heavens opened - leaving 6 of us lads to wave good bye to Jess, Katie, Laura and One Shoe Sophie as we drew twigs to work out teams...it was race time!

Will & Ali were favourites - Will being the ex-marine and Ali being a big lad, the Dave & Henry combination looked challenging - Dave with his never-say-die attitude and Henry who looked chipper after spending each day in his canoe with a different lady...which left Ryan and I - me being the newcomer to canoeing and Ry with his iffy steering skills.

We guesstimated the 500m point and lined our vessels up, it was tense...'GO!' I yelled - disaster followed.

All 3 crews headed towards the exact same spot - Will & Ali crashed into Dave & Henry and so did we! Both men were thrown into the river - then we nearly crushed Henry, missing only by inches.

By the time they were safely back into their metal racer they were shattered, so the rest of us took advantage.

Pulling us back to gain unfair advantage Will & Ali paddled off to victory.

2nd place is nowhere in a 3 team race, so me and Ryan had our honour at stake as we lined up for the final event - the 1000 metres(ish).

The race started and this time we meant business...till I saw the chance to get revenge on Will & Ali, which backfired on both teams, leaving Henry & Dave a clear run to the finish line and glory...damn me!

We had to cruise the final 2 miles of our 39 mile Slalom listening to the other crews chirping about their wins...I'd completed another challenge for The Everyman Olympics but was wet and gutted.


With Special Thanks to:

Jess, Kate, Katie, Laura & Sophie - without you ladies it would probably have been a testosterone-fueled canoe race to the death (or the pub...whichever came first)

Tone 'Skimmer' Curran - shame you missed the race because you didn't want to get your hair wet ; )

Will & Ali - Cheers for organising the whole thing Will - much appreciated by all! Oh and congrats on the win chaps, albeit by dodgy means, grrrrr

Dave & Henry - Apologies for trying to kill you

Ryan - A valiant team mate (who must work on his steering).

What a top weekend!

The Hybrid Games #1

The Modern Olympics were founded by eccentric and interestingly-named Greek philanthropist Evangelis Vasileiou Zappas back in the mid 19th Century, as well as relighting the Olympic torch he also added in his own version of the Pentathlon: the Modern Pentathlon; an event which sandwiches together 5 events with seemingly as much connection as a mobile phone in the Sahara Desert - this got me thinking, what other sports could be combined to make fresh Olympic events?

Garcling

OK so Gardening isn't strictly a sport but let me tell you I've been laying paving in my garden these last few weekends and there's no shortage of lifts, stretches and reps involved - I woke with badly aching limbs last Sunday morning before going off with the lads on a 34 mile bike ride and while trying to keep up I got to thinking - this combination could be a winner...

Garcling = Gardening & Cycling

How would it work?

One idea would be to do a 5km BMX sprint, followed by digging a trench, then a 10km off road mountain bike trek, followed by chopping down a tree, and finishing in a 40km road bike race, split by a hedge sculpture challenge...now think it sounds easy?



I'm willing to offer my garden for use in London 2012 - save me the job


Sweights

Weightlifters work hard for the right to go to the Olympics and show everyone how strong they are, but once they're there they get off lightly and don't even have to place the weights on the bars themselves - but what if these lazy muscly dudes (and dudettes) did have to load the weights on themselves, and what if instead of the weights being handilly on a nearby rack, they were laying on the bottom of a pool?

Sweights = Swimming & Weights

How would it work?

Racing against the clock, the musclemen and women would have to dive for the weights, load a barbell to the required amount and then complete the legal lift before the bell rings.

Warning: You may look like a tit during training

Cliving

No this is not some random new sport where contenders round up as many people called Clive by any means possible within a set time limit (sadly), but instead works along a similar principle to Sweights...

Cliving = Climbing & Diving

How would it work?

Athletes have to climb up a cliff side, then dive off of the top in as stylish a manner as possible - how sexy a combo is this?!!

'Oh bugger I've left me climbing boots up theeeeeerrrrrrrreeeeeee'

Vote Now!

The BBC are looking for Sports Unsung Hero to give them an award for their endeavours alongside current professional stars at this years Sports Personality of the Year Awards and I think that could be ME - I just need your help!

So what are The BBC looking for?

'We want to know about an individual who, on a voluntary basis, makes a real difference to sport within their area.' The BBC

I'm not paid for The Everyman Olympics. And I cover a large area - so far I've ventured as far East as Southend, as far West as Basingstoke, as far South as Hove and North as Doncaster...but I'm willing to go so much further! Scotland, Wales, Ireland, the States,  Australia...just invite me!*

*And provide travel and accommodation.

What else do the organisers want?

'This person will give their time and talents to enable others to participate in sport.' The BBC

I give loads of my time over for this very reason...and to beat Carl of course (struggled there), you are ALL welcome to play a part in my challenges - simply email me at theeverymanolympian@googlemail.com and let me know which sport you want to get involved in.

Any last requests from The Beeb?

'This may be helping an individual, team or teams'. The BBC

Let's see - I've so far battled individuals at badminton and tennis and the decathlon, got other individuals out with me running, done weights with one of the country's finest athletes, and I'm part of 2 cycling teams, AND I'm part of a canoeing team! - to date in helping myself I've also 'helped' over 40 individuals and counting!

I rest my case.

To VOTE FOR ME to be BBC Unsung Sports Personality of the Year 2010 simply:

Download and complete the Unsung Hero nomination form (Word) at the bottom of this page: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/tv_and_radio/sports_personality_of_the_year/8913207.stm

And email this completed form to: sportsunsunghero@bbc.co.uk

My contact details: theeverymanolympian@googlemail.com

With gratitude,

The Everyman Olympian

The Tennis Challenge: Smashin'

As a kid I'd say that my sporting prowess was limited to two events, yes I dabbled in Rugby and Weightlifting in my teens but that was mainly because I was big for my age for a few years; our PE teacher most likely picked me for the pack due to a lack in numbers and my chunkiness rather than my skill with an oval ball and I most likely picked lifting weights because it'd make me even bigger and that'd serve to protect me from the odd bully at school, but my real sporting interests started early in the pool and later evolved during the summers when I worked hard to emulate my Wimbledon heroes...this is the tale of The Tennis Challenge.

The Tennis Challenge

• Play: 6 (Matches (Each best of 5 sets to add fitness value)
• Time: 8 Days

Feeling slightly under the weather I met Tones one glorious Sunday afternoon in July to start this challenge on some concrete courts in Middle England.

While it had been the best part of a year since I'd last played this game of wits, skill and physical fitness, I believe it had been a while longer for the chap on the other side of the net - who turned up to play with his girlfriends racquet.

The best thing about my route to victory was that despite the scoreline - which was more flattering to me than the match felt (6-1, 6-2, 6-2),  I can honestly say  I had to fight for it - Tones played with heart and guile; a number of my passing winners were narrowly missed by a man hurling himself through the air with no thought for his closeness to the metal mesh outer fencing or the hard deck below...



Think this is gonna hurt? Now picture Tones in the same position above concrete and hurtling towards a metal mesh fence!


My pal Big Pete is not exactly built for tennis (he resembles a cross between Michael Chiklis and Ben Grimm, the character he plays in The Fantastic Four movies) but like a true friend he agreed to meet me the next day back at home for Match 2.

Having discussed venues and come to few conclusions, in true British fashion we ended up going to the pub, but not just any pub - this was a pub with a tennis court.

It's no detriment to the big man that I beat him 6-0, 6-2, 6-2 and in fairness probably gave him a few of those points, because sadly his tennis racquet wasn't exactly built for a man not exactly built for tennis either (he'd borrowed it off of his niece), and despite the cheering support of his lovely wife Debs he was unable to learn and master an unfamiliar sport within the short time we had on court.

In either form this dude's hardly the new Roger Federer

After 45 hours away for work, the late afternoon of Day 5 arrived and it was a must play situation: but I was struggling with a sick feeling in my stomach during the day and before I left to get to Mopsies Courts in Basildon, I had to convince myself I'd be OK...

Old foes always endure great battles, think Senna & Prost, Vader & Obi-Wan, Kermit & Miss Piggy...OK so scrap the last one but you get the idea - Snelly & I were no different, we'd played many times in the past and both of us wanted to claim the trophy*.

*A few years back Snelly and I had come up with a concept by which we played Squash in the Winter, Badminton in the Spring and Tennis Summer to Autumn, whoever dominated each season owned the trophy for that sport - we never actually bought trophies for this, it was just the tern of accolade the overall winner of each event could claim.

For 3 and a half hours we clashed like titans, till eventually I held the trophy aloft; winning 4-6, 7-6 (8-6), 6-3, 7-6 (7-4) - victory was mine!!!

'I'm gonna look after this for a while'

Less than 24 hours later and feeling knackered still quite frankly, I arrived at some courts in Leicester to play a man they call: Ryan Devlyn.




Ryan Devlyn

 He may not have played of late but pre-match he warned me that if his serves started to come good then he'd punish me with them - luckily he took the first set to settle in, I won 6-1 by using my recent experience to focus on accuracy and gave the lad the run around.

Then his serves started to kick in - they were low, quick and accurate and indeed they did punish me.

4 aces later however, I regained my attacking in-game play and took the second set 6-2, which seemed to have a diverse effect on my sturdy opponent and while he reeled from my improving returns he was unable to up the other elements of his game - victory came swiftly with a 6-love win to seal it in straight sets.

Joy in my heart and bruised muscles in my legs, just 12 hours later I cruised through the gates of what can only be descibed as a manor house - I hit jackpot on Day 7 when my mate Chalky agreed to play me on the private court of his father-in-law-ish.

It was then that I took the biggest beating since Bruno vs Tyson '96 - as yet another ace flew past me I asked whether Chalky had played much before:

'I used to play for my school a while back, had coaching for a few years...oh, and I might have played a bit of County'. Cripes.

I can honestly say that I only really won half a game, the 6-2, 6-2, 6-0 victory for my classy opponent didn't do him justice - as we walked off 'centre court' his breathing was calm and controlled, I was a broken man.

Chalky beat me like the big softy I am

'Slight problem old chap, my uncles not got a racquet with him'. I looked at my phone in disbelief. Bo***cks! Suave's news could not have come at a worse time - I now needed a final day opponent and didn't have a clue who'd be up for playing on such short notice, I was in danger of failing The Tennis Challenge.

Post call there ensued a melee of madness - I called John, Kelly, Matt, Ma, Glen...Mark, Brian, Mike, Paul, Si...nothing! I hopped in the car and headed to the M25 in the hope of being best positioned to get to any game, anywhere in the UK and continued to make and take calls - those who couldn't play me I made be scouts for opposition and they would report back - I was desperate for an opponent.

By 1pm I was sat in my car at a service station and distraught, I'd made over 40 enquiries for fresh opponents and had scouts covering everywhere South of the North of England, the gamble of heading away from home had even meant I'd missed out on a match I could have played near home but my potential opponent had to be finished my 2pm - there was no way I could make it back in time.

A call came in through my cars speakers, ''Ey up bud have you found anyone to play yet?', it was Donnie Chris, he went on to explain that he was taking his missus,Trish, to her bosses house in Northampton that afternoon and could pack a racquet and shorts if need be - if need be?!!! Hell Yes I needed be!!

We arrived at the oddly named 'Race Course' to find a large field with no race course but it did have courts galore, and room for football and basketball too - the final match began at after 5pm on the last day of the challenge, on a grass court that had seen much much better days.

Actual picture of playing surface

At two sets down I'd had enough of this comedic farce - I'd guesstimate over half the shots we each had to receive bounced so ridiculously that chance and luck had more to do with the scoreline than pure tennis ability (though I would say that at 6-1, 6-1 down), so we moved onto a hard court nearby...

Some say that its the 'taking part that counts', and for the sheer fact that I've set these challenges up for the exercise value rather than to win every one I should agree - but I can't, fact is that losing in straight sets at a game I love is blinking annoying! (Chris took the last set 6-3, damn him!).


With Special Thanks to:

Tones - Cheers for turning up to start The Tennis Challenge the day after that day ; )

Big Pete - Nice one mate, let me know when you fancy a rematch!

Paul 'Snelly' Snell - The Tennis trophy is mine, next up - Badminton & Squash!!

The man they call Ryan Devlyn - Nice one fella, but next time keep them aces to yourself.

Chalky - A pleasure to lose to you sir, many thanks for the education!

Chris - Well done mate...Git.

The Cycling Challenge: Rollin' (Part Two)

As you'll have noticed from Rollin' (Part One) I appear to have been in training for something and that's because I had, you see my cunning plan to complete The Cycling Challenge involved the first real effort of long term planning that'd been put into action so far - the remaining 54 miles would be nailed in one hit, for I had entered The London to Brighton Bike Ride!
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The Cycling Challenge: Rollin' (Part One)

Now, built like Arnie (from my local chip shop, not the Governor of California/Movie Star/Mr Universe) following The Weightlifting Challenge and having piled on the pounds whilst couped up in sweaty rooms I needed an opportunity that'd help me shed kilos whilst getting out in the open, I would also need a bike for:
The Cycling Challenge!

This is the story of how my previous favourite pastime crashed head long into my fresh, florishing, and worrying wholesome new favourite pastime.

Back in June...

Just 5 hours after leaving a bar at the end of last night I was stood outside a pub. But not just any pub. This, this was the wrong frigging pub. Bugger

We have a Winner!!

As you'll recall the first post on The Everyman Olympics outlined why I'm doing these challenges, whilst my second post -  The Very Exciting Subplot - focused on my competition with Carl and the race to lose a stone - this is an update on that sub-challenge, and yes ladies and gents, we have a winner!

The Weightlifting Challenge: Pumpin'

The Weightlifting Challenge for the The Everyman Olympics fell onto my lap thanks to a response to a tweeted cry for help from an Amercian I'd never met and the enthusiasm of a young woman whom during the month of May I would come to warmly regard as Coach Josie.

Note how knackered I look compared with Coach Josie!

Stepping into the gym I was nervous, not because I was about to meet a complete stranger who I'd only come to know through the internet or because I was about to be judged on how strong I was by a girl, but because I'd had a dicky belly that morning and was fearful that lifting heavy objects might have a diverse affect on my stomach muscles...infront of a complete stranger...who just happened to be a girl...who I'd never met before.

The Running Challenge: Jog On

Having spent a pretty penny on court bills and clocked up the miles chasing games I went back to my catalogue of sports - http://www.olympic.org/ - and searched for a new active adventure that would increase my fitness whilst going easy on my wallet.

I found one option but realised that perhaps the effort levels would be too easy, even for me. No, a walking task was out of the question, but...walk a little quicker...quicker still...

I'd arranged to start this challenge with the company of a pal - feeling that agony was a dish best served to share - but was shocked when I pulled my door open to find that there, stood before me, was a man suitably dressed for the beach. Here in England, it was April.

Gym Clobbered

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I've a confession to make. I'd say I fair pretty well in normal daily attire - I've worked in the fashion trade for years and I know my onions so to speak. I'm not a victim of labels but I know when you need to wear your denim dark and raw (unwashed) or when to drop the big shirt collars and leave them to the city folk. But when it comes to getting sweaty in the name of sport I've always struggled to pick cool togs. Maybe this is down to my problem with buying product which is made by small hands...

Listen, I'm not laying claim to being a fashion guru or some sort of sportswear stylist but clearly there are clothes that are fit for purpose and those garments that look plain daft when worn to exercise in. If you wanted to get buff you wouldn't use cans of beans to do bicep curls would you? No, you'd buy a set of dumbbells and train properly. The right tools for the job. Well I think that when it comes to clothes the same principle applies!

The Badminton Challenge: Spitting Feathers

Back To My Routes

Having sat down through my entire first challenge I knew I needed to start bucking my ideas up, so I rechecked the Olympics listings and opted for a sport I'd actually played before - in fact this was one of the few sports I'd ever come close to playing regularly. All it would take to get started would be a trip into my loft to dig out the tools of my new trade and to make a few calls to set up some opposition.

Having been up into the rafters and dusted off my gear I sat down to coffee in my kitchen and rebooted my laptop to work out the details of my challenge.

The sport? Badminton.

The Rules Of Induction

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Already I've joined 2 gyms in my quest - The Everyman Olympics (see Post 1 new comers), thus bringing me to a current lifetime tally of 6 gyms that I've held membership with at some stage or other. Thanks to the madness of health and safety rules this means I've also had to endure 6 different gym inductions.
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Yes, in the 15 years that there have been between signing up to the first gym to the most recent there has been some considerable progress in the development of sports equipment and yes, I understand that such establishments need to cover themselves in the event that you suffer injury due to poor use of the facilities but in all honesty only once has a gym inductor thought to use common sense and ask me whether I'd ever joined a such a place before. Thus sparing us both the time it would take to ascertain whether I know how to run on a treadmill or follow instructions which are clearly labelled on a weights machine.
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Clearly with the 'vast' experience I have of signing up to gyms (ok the follow-up on my part of regularly using them hasn't been so hot I'll grant you) I'm in a good position to advise you on how to handle such situations. So for what it's worth, here's my guide to The Rules Of Induction.
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The Rowing Challenge: Rowing Without Oars

Let the challenges begin!

Having set the stage for The Everyman Olympics 10/11 back in February one evening I sat down with a beer and my laptop to search the potential challenges on the official Olympics website http://www.olympic.org/ and found that there was a plethora of opportunities before me. Unfortunately they all shared one thing in common...they would involve effort.

I thought of buying a ticket to Vancouver, learning how to ski and mimicking the Cross Country Pursuit, then realised that the Winter Olympics is the wrong way to go – any event which features Curling as a ‘sport’ should be dragged in front of a large mirror and told to take a good long look at itself!

That left the Summer Olympics events page as my catalogue of choice. I had a swig of beer and looked on some more...

Then I found it. The perfect sport on which to base my first challenge of the year of challenges that lay ahead. This was perfect. Featuring the very thing that I do a lot of in both my working day and my spare time...sitting.

The sport of choice for this first challenge? Rowing.

The Very Exciting Subplot

You’ll recall that last time around I explained how The Everyman Olympics came into being and why I was undertaking this year long set of sports challenges based on Olympic events.
(Late comers please see Post 1: The Everyman Olympics).

You’ll also recollect that as well as the aim to get fit, lose the flab and in-part act as a guinea pig for a whole new approach to exercise, that running parallel to this adventure I am competing against a rival to be the first to lose a stone in weight = The Very Exciting Subplot.

Now some of you who frequent gyms or do exercise by other means will appreciate that there is losing a stone and losing a stone.

The Everyman Olympics

One morning back in February this year...
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Looking around in my tired haze, I could see why I'd tried to avoid cheap hotels of late. The plastic feel of the curtains, the rough bed sheets and rougher toilet paper (cheap hotels always like to punish you for staying in them, usually by providing thin sandpaper wrapped around a cardboard tube and disguising itself as loo role), the cheap hairdryers attached to the wall next to the cheap mirror, UHT milk which may or may not be in date, and signs and notices everywhere; never a sales opportunity missed or an instruction not given.
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It was 5:41am. I'm sat folded over my laptop, hungover and full of heartburn. The memory of last night's 'awakening' vivid in my mind - this time I would make a life change!
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The night before I'd stood in front of the bathroom mirror, brushing my teeth and trying not to smash my elbow on the shower cubicle. I wished I'd kept my shirt on, the sight of my naked torso causing the alcohol in my bloodstream to start a new chemical reaction in my brain - anger, which poured into my thoughts. How had I let myself get to this? And why hadn't I started my challenge yet?
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Two months before this I'd challenged a friend that we'd have a race to lose a stone, the loser would pay for a slap up meal. Isn't it funny how fat people always think of rewards in terms of food?! I wondered how far my rival in this race had come - while I'd continued eating junk food and avoiding exercise, often with drunken abandon. But this thought would have to wait for now...
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My opponent in this duel was Carl. A man I'd assessed as similar in weight to myself, though to my advantage he's always managed to pack his size onto a body which is a good foot shorter than my own. A gamble then, but one which I felt was stacked in my favour from the beginning.
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As the internet kicked in I thought of my personal attributes, what was it about exercise and dieting that I struggled with? I'd tried both and neither had really taken a hold in my pysche long enough to form a life long habit. Clearly I wasn't the type to take to one form of fitness and stick with it, I needed another angle.
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I picked up my phone from the floor beside the bed and saw that I'd typed one word into an unsent text message before passing out last night. The message simply read 'Olympics'. So I Googled it...
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The birth of The Everyman Olympics
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I looked at the wide array of sports events before me, most of which I'd never tried, some of which I'd never even seen. I thought about my own history of exercise. I thought about how I could marry the merits of the two subjects: I periodically try getting fit through different sports, the Olympics is an event showcasing a variety of different sports, the Olympics lasts just a few weeks , I usually manage just a few weeks doing a sport before before getting bored. I pondered on...
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Then it struck me. If I create one challenge a month, based on an Olympic event, I might stand a chance of achieving fitness, lose the weight, instil a fresh mentality towards exercise and healthy living which will stick with me for life, and more importantly...I'd beat Carl!
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Being an Average Joe I've decided to name this concept The Everyman Olympics.
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Here's how the 'games' will work:

• One challenge to be set every month for a year, based on a different Olympic sport

• Each event to be time restricted to be testing yet realistic - I'll be doing this around my work (my day job involves buckets of travel - 35,000+ miles driving a year - and long days)

This is it, 12 mini challenges to distract me into regular exercise whilst competing against my friend to lose a stone first. My definiative personal guide to sorting my shit out.
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I will update this site to keep you in the loop on the story as it unfolds, and let's be fair - in a way I'm acting as a guinea pig here, this system may well work for many of you!
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So in repayment for my test-dummy services, here's what I'm looking for from your good selves:
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• Suggestions or tips you have on which sports I should base a challenge on
• How I can make the challenges realistic to the real thing and where I might find facilities to use
• Stores where I can get good deals on sports equipment and kit
• Or even if YOU are available to play against me or in some of the team events!

I'm based in the South East of England, though travel all over the UK & Ireland and often abroad too, so wouldn't rule anything out!
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Anyone who helps will be mentioned in the blog (who knows, it may even make a book).
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You can contact me at theeverymanolympian@googlemail.com
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Or follow me on Twitter: @EveryOlympian
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And now available to read: The Everyman Olympics: Re-Galvanised